Sometimes there is this kind of urge to lay down, in the grass, looking at the sky, seeing everything on fast forward. When I was in Romania there was no place to do this in the city and the best spots for it were in the mountains, so close by and now so far. Today I let myself fall down in the grass in the park, near the canal, with my eyes wide open, searching for the blue dots on the screen, for the sign we all wish for.
There is sometimes this kind of silence that brings multiple questions. There is this silence which step by step is burning everything inside as you try to find more and more answers. This silence is coming together with a duality of feelings, a mix of sentiments you cannot keep under control. And most important is coming with so many, oh, so many, thoughts!
I dream with my open eyes each day and the dreams are contradictory with themselves and with reality. I dream of going on the road, of walking in deep forests, of hiding in the grass to watch animals, of traveling to my heart places and in the same time I dream of buying a house and settling down, of changing the life at 180 degrees, of investing some time in my math passion. But in each of them reality kicks in so easily and the rational part of the brain is not able to lay down a little bit. But can I, may I, just lay a little down?