There was a time when only my laughter could be heard on the school hall. I was the girl with the colorful and, most probably, annoying laugh. My chemistry teacher even told me once that I will die laughing and, because I was everything else outside shy, I’ve told her that it will be better than dying crying. Once, for almost one year, I even thought of trying to do stand-up, thinking that my stupid jokes will be easily digested by other. By the contrary something else happen. By time the intensity of the laughter minimized and, in the end, I’ve started to laugh harder and harder, without any resemblance with the extrovert, noisy and foolish person I used to be.

Anyway, this morning I saw a sponsored ad on Facebook for a stand-up comedy show in Haarlem, in a small theater and I’ve asked myself why not. I’ve never been to one, mainly because I wasn’t in the mood for someone to pick on me and make fun of me only for the things easily seen from the outside. But today was different, I’ve simply wanted to see how this works for real, I’ve wanted to be there, in front of the scene, and to laugh. And I did, for the first time in such a long time I’ve laughed like before, with all my body, with my lungs. I’m so grateful for that, such a nice way to finish a busy day.

Standing at the door with D., one guy comes to us and speaks directly in Romanian with us. Wow, which was the chance for another Romanian to be there? There was another guy outside smoking and he comes to us saying “There are only Romanians here?” And now it was destiny, right? It’s not a common situation for this to happen, but one extra thing was that one of the guys was one of the performers from the show. The place is a small-small room, with a bar at the entrance, the stage in the back and around 10-15 chairs. We were in total 12-14 persons, from which 6 were the comedians. It was perfect for me, being there in the front row, seeing them so close, being able to analyze the character. Being the first English show for some of them, it was unavoidable to see the emotions, a little bit of sweat or shaking hands on the microphone. It felt so human and in the end so natural to be there, to enjoy some good jokes and a pleasant atmosphere. (Some of the jokes I didn’t liked, especially the misogynistic ones)

In case you find yourself in the same dilemma you should simply exit your comfort zone and go. Go there, accept a joke about you, laugh of it and be in peace with yourself.