I’ve never been skinny and, even if until 18 I managed to keep my normal weight, things changed dramatically when I’ve started working. I was in between 19 and 20 when I had my first serious job, in the evening, right after school. And now imagine: without parents to judge my way to spend money, without limits, going to school during the day, working until 22:00 in the night, getting home at 23:00, eating only chips and drinking coke, it was the beginning of fluffiness.

I am not blaming only my job, but it is somehow normal that after being in a office from 8 to 10 hours a day, working and living after a strict schedule and discipline, after work you want to be a little bit crazy, not to have a line for everything. Working in IT didn’t helped much in my way of life: I used to work a lot, usually skipping lunch and eating all kind of chocolate bars, drinking soda and coffee a lot during the day, sometimes eating the first meal of the day around 9 pm. I was lost in my work and I was totally unaware of the effects this style will have by time. It was not long after I’ve started my full time job when I’ve observed that I gained 10 kg. I was a little bit stressed because of them because nowadays it is almost impossible not to read about obesity and other stuffs and, especially in Romania, where being fat it is a social stigma – when people make fun of you on the street only because of your big a*s. Anyway, I was stressed only in my mind, in the end I’ve decided not to do anything and simply go on with the chaotic life style I was having. In that year I used to sleep 3 hours a night, having school, a full time job and another one part time. Of course, I also wanted to party so mix it together with a very bad eating habit. Yes, after the first 10 kg, in another 2 years I was having some extra 20 kg. Now it was more serious or at least it should have been. We used to have yearly a mandatory health check out from work so starting with that year when I was categorized in obesity something changed. I was stressed while I was eating and, despite the fact that I was always complaining about my weight, sport was out almost entirely from my life and I never said no to a chocolate candy. Until one day in 2013.

I don’t know what was the trigger. I don’t remember of something special to happen in that year (outside changing my job – like I used to do in almost each year), but simply in May 2013 I decided to go to a nutritionist and to try to get rid of the extra 3o kg gained/lost/regained in a period of 6 years. Now, looking back, I am still wondering what was in my mind to go through such a painful process. And where is the ambition I had in that year. And why after finishing the never-ending diets I didn’t changed my life style. But let me start with the beginning.

Compared with the prices from NL the clinic in Romania was cheap: 500e for 10 meetings. In the first session I was measured, I was given a set of blood tests I should do and a small notebook to write everything I was eating. After the first week, based on the notes I’ve entered, a analysis was made about my eating habits – disastrous. The blood tests were OK and, because I was more conscious about my meals, I was with 1 kg less even without being on a diet. And then it all started, for me the entire process it took 6 months and was like this:

Weekly meetings: Each week, on Wednesday evening, I used to go for the measurement session and a new plan. Depending on the comparison with the previous week, my doctor used to congratulate or to rebuke me. I still remember that during my summer holiday I’ve eaten watermelon (it was the season and I am mad about it!) and coming back, even if my measurement was kind of OK, she was so angry on me for eating it. I had to enter in a notebook everything I was eating or drinking and I had to present it to her in order to discuss it. Of course, when I saw she was reprimanding me for each small mistake, I used to omit some of the things I used to consume.

Diet: Each week I used to have a new diet. They were mostly based on meat or light cottage cheese. I am not a big fan of meat – I am not vegetarian, but I don’t like to eat a lot of meat during a meal. Of course, you are not allowed to eat fat meat so imagine 6 months of chicken or turkey. But what was so important for me was to have exactly 3 meals a day, without any snack in between. And without alcohol. Having 3 meals a day helped me a lot in the process. Since then 90% of my breakfasts consists in yogurt with natural cereals, without sugar. Since then I don’t use sugar in coffee or tea. Unfortunately, the other good habits are long gone.

Fruits: If I would have to say what do I love and I can buy then fruits are first on the list. Since a small kid I love any kind of fruits and I used to be addicted. I used to have a big portion of all kind of fruits each evening. If you would make me choose between chocolate and some fruits I will choose the second ones. And, unfortunately for me, fruits were off the table. In the first 2 weeks of my diet I wasn’t allowed to eat fruits. I was going crazy, it was the season for cherry and strawberries, the smell in the market was driving me insane. I remember that I told my doctor I want a diet with fruits and she told me that I was allowed to have 200 grams of cherries at breakfast… And in that moment I’ve asked if 200 grams with or without the seeds. Each gram counts, right? Anyway, the conclusion was that fruits should be consumed in the first part of the day because of 2 big reasons: they have a lot of sugar and it takes a long time to digest them.

Going out: And now imagine. Hot Romanian summer, working in the city center of Bucharest filled with terraces. I wasn’t allowed to drink beer or put sugar in my coffee or lemonade or stuffs. I managed to pass through the summer, but this cost me my social life. I preferred to go home and to complain on the medicinal bicycle instead of going out and salivate in front of my friends/coworkers.

6 months passed. Looking back it is like a dream. I don’t see myself in that person: cooking daily, eating only because I had to eat, having a strict schedule and shopping list. But if I did it then, I need to do it again now. I managed to maintain my weight for almost 2 years. After 6 months of strict rules, I kept my weight by breaking all the rules.

And after that I moved to NL. I had to keep my weight under control so I used to weight myself daily. Keeping records and each week 1 kg extra. I was thinking on one hand that 1 kg it is OK, on the other I was stressed that I will become again obese. And guess what happened? Now, in 2017, I have the weight from 2013 + another 10 kg. I know my mistakes and I know the rules, but am I again so convinced that I can do it? Of course!

This year is the year I should do it again and for the last time. If not now, then when? It is the year I will change my prefix so my age will not be by my side as it used to be. Another thing is that by time you start indulging. And I should stop lying myself. I am not fat because I am ill, by the contrary I am aware of the fact that I live in a negative circle: I fall in depression because I am fat and eat because of the depression. And I need to put a stop to it. But this time, this year, I will change my eating and drinking habits. Just a drop of alcohol from time to time and fast food rarely.

Cooking daily it is hard and I need to do this because in NL you find only fast food for lunch. And in order to make this task more interesting for me I will start posting about the food I prepare – hoping to make me more responsible and, why not, bring something new in your meals. Let’s do this, 2017  is a good year so far! 🙂