One of my hobbies for which I didn’t find any energy back home is reading. By years I bought a lot of books with the thought that one day I will read them. So when we moved I packed all my books and one of the scopes was to rediscover the worlds from them. My partner was like “Are you for real? We have now 10 boxes only with books and each is like 30 kilos…” It didn’t matter what everybody was saying (my parents, friends, co-workers), I wanted the books so in a Saturday we received them all.
In Romania I was thinking “OMG! How many book I’ve got, when I will read them?”, but each time I was passing near a bookstore I was buying another one. Now that we live in a huge apartment (3 times bigger than the one back home) it doesn’t seem to be so many. But they are mine, and A. still remembers how she was laughing about me in high school when I was saying “Why should you pay 20.000 lei on a coffee, when if you will have 10.000 more you could buy a book?”. In high school I was buying second hand books from some antique stores. With time, after I got employed, I quit buying from these stores; I wanted new ones – typical no? But they are my fortune – beside the fact that many years I spent my money in bookstores, in each book I got lost into a new world, a new me, a new life.
In the last weeks I’ve started to read Murakami. The books were a present from my friends. When I tried to read Murakami 3 years ago I didn’t liked it. And usually if I don’t like the feeling from the first 10 pages I don’t read the book. But this time it was like a science fiction travel in another time, another world, another me, a life I would like to have. I couldn’t let “Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World” from my hands, as I was reading it everywhere (beside work). The same is happening with “A Wild Sheep Chase”, I read at this moment. And each time I read a chapter I ask myself how is it possible to have this kind of imagination – a question I ask myself each time I see something I could never think about. But most of all I ask myself if I could do it. In both novels the main character is confronted with the situation in which he must leave his life, his home, his job in order to find something that is beyond reality. And I dream that I could be the one who does the same. Because before thinking in coming in Netherlands I was thinking how it could be to travel for 3-6 months all over the world. And at the point when you don’t have enough money, maybe to get a job in the city you are or just come back home. Nowadays I read a lot about people that quit their normal life, job, and house, to do this kind of travel. But then, after 6 months of traveling, can you be again down to earth? After a 6 month wild life can you become again a person that goes in an office for 9 hours a day, an IT programmer, a person that pays a rent and stays in an apartment building? These are the questions that flood my mind each time I think I could do it. And until now I wasn’t able to say it doesn’t matter, we will see by time what happens. And time passes by, year by year I get older and in my vision I have time only until 30. I still can’t find a balance between the “normal” me and the “sabbatical year” me. But for now, reading a book, living in the worlds of others is enough. For how long it will substitute I don’t know, but now I am afraid in giving up this world.
Would you do it?