2 months since I have been gone from my home country. It is so strange that I don’t feel so far and that I already consider home where I live. When I decided to leave my parents were really afraid that we will not keep in touch and I tried to explain them that the circumstances are changed, because nowadays you can call or video chat wherever. Now they get it and it is like I was in Bucharest and just called them at every 2 days.
How do I feel now? I don’t know what to think, how to introspect. Because the time flew so fast, it is like yesterday I was still putting my stuffs in boxes and now… now 2 months since I moved. I don’t regret my decision, maybe because professionally I do what I have done in the last 8 years and I have romanian colleagues. So for me it is just like I changed only my work and a little bit the pictures around me. All I can think about is where to travel in my free time, what to do next, what beer to try and what book to start reading.
Each day I take the train at the same time. I have started to recognize faces and some of them recognize me too, because they smile when they see me. I still think about what the girls from the expat center told me –they feel alone here and friends aren’t easy to make. But where can you make friends easy? Of course, in my home country I had a lot of persons with which I was talking daily – most of it because I am a smoker and we went out in the smoking break together. Before going to university it was so easier to have friends – we were all young and liked to listen music, to read and comment books and to enjoy a sunny afternoon. But when I went to university most of the relations ended – because of the departure and because at that time internet wasn’t so used in Romania. After that being a student was something else, I met people from all around our country and it was again easy to have friends, with which I used to learn for exams, to go out in clubs or concerts. Most of those relations are also gone, from that period I kept in touch with one girl, she visited us last week. I think that the relation was maintained also because for some years we worked together. I got my first job at 19/20 years and that was the way to go on with my life. After that all the relations I had were with work colleagues, and I think the main reason is because I used to spend a lot of my time at the office. And because I am not that kind of person which goes out and just makes new friends. For me friendship is something hard to get and I believe that a friend is not a person whom you help, but a person that you trust that would help you whenever you need. I like helping people and listen to their stories/problems, but rarely I do the same thing. It is hard to be opened about my real feelings and thoughts.
So for me is not just being away from my home country. It is being away from people. And for now it is a good feeling, because I am more relaxed and happy. Sometimes I have some happiness outbreaks and it is strange for me, because I don’t remember when it was the last time I was so satisfied with my life. Now I am truly gone, because the Petra I knew remained behind.